The Vicar and Provisional Balls

Some days stand out in the memory.  They shine like precious jewels.  They are beyond price. Others, such as Vicar-gate are best forgotten. “Any plans for tomorrow” asked the Golf Police. He had just finished watching a rugby match.  I closed my book.  “How to Putt out of Your Mind”.  Third time of reading and still […]

Golf Gastronomy

Something had to give between the golf and the last supper.  The desperate smash and grab raids down supermarket aisles after eighteen holes of golf, seeking inspiration and ingredients.  Dishes served to the scream of the smoke alarm. Carbon. Carbon. Carbon. There are people out there who can cook, work and play golf.  Who can […]

Battle off the Tee

In the end it came down to a battle of the Titans.  A game taken to the wire.  A test of nerve and skill.  Of bantering rights and an Adman’s Dream. It was the week France travelled to England and took on the Rosbiefs under a dark wintry sky.   Beer had been consumed.  The red […]

A Day in the Sun

It happened after a game of golf.  Quiet words in the car park. “It can be fixed.  I have been there.”  We exchanged hugs.   He made a call.  It was brief. “Help me” he said. I had returned to golf after a meeting with the medics and white coats. Their skills had resolved the problem. […]

Back to The Fairways

It was time to go back.  Back where I belonged. Back to the fairways. The house was quiet. I left before the juicer had seen any action. Before the eight minute shower and post mortem about the missing hot water.  Before the traffic built up and became rivers of red lights and impatient drivers.  Before the […]

The Take Away

It was time to put the ball back on the tee. Time to find the swing and check the swing  plane.  Not quite the fairways but the first step back to the Swindle and a round of golf. Watching the Golf Police wield the scissors and hair brush, I knew it was time to find the […]

The Dimpled Ball and Oven Gloves

It had been a long golf-less week.  But a week where the adage ‘revenge is a dish best eaten cold’ had proved fruitful.  The Swindle agreed. I met them for coffee at the club. “We have all missed you” said Sid. “Speak for yourself” said Big Rich, slurping his latte with extra sugar. “Do you […]

Golf Rules and The Medics

Battles with the Golf Police were not uncommon. But sometimes life intervenes and the odds are stacked against the win. “No Golf” said the Medics. I tried to argue my case.  I fought for my fairways.  But this was a man who would not be budged.  It was like arm wrestling someone who played for […]

Resolutions and Reflections

The Old Year, with its joys and sorrows carved in the  pages of history, crept quietly away. The New Year, full of hope and expectation, whizzed in on a cacophony of fireworks, fizzy champagne and earnest resolutions. But resolutions are fickle and seldom last much longer than the firework displays of New Year’s Eve. The […]

The Golfer and the Burning Ball

The Golf Police was not happy. The incident with the coal bucket and golf ball was the final straw. “I’m ordering a skip tomorrow” he said . “I need to get to my tools without breaking my neck on your golf gear.  I want my garage back”. “More tea?” I put the kettle on. “Shall we […]